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Jokes For Don Thursday February 5, 2009 Helmsman Training Discussion Lemons Good Eyes Helmsman Training A young man who wants to see the world signs on to a steamship to be trained as a helmsman. He masters the classroom instruction, then starts his practical training on the wheel of the vessel. In his first lesson, the mate gives him a heading, and the young fellow holds to it. Then the mate orders, "Come starboard." Pleased at knowing immediately which way starboard is, the young man leaves the helm and walks over to his instructor. The mate has an incredulous look on his face as the helm swings freely. Then, rather gently considering the circumstance, he asks politely, "Could you bring the ship with you?" Comment on this Story | Printer Friendly | | Send Story to a Friend | Top Discussion A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. Comment on this Story | Printer Friendly | | Send Story to a Friend | Top Lemons A woman went to a Florida lemon grove to apply for a job, but the foreman thought she seemed way too qualified for the position. "Do you even have any actual experience picking lemons?" he asked. "Well, I think I do." she replied. "I've been divorced three times." Comment on this Story | Printer Friendly | | Send Story to a Friend | Top Good Eyes This woman rushes to see her doctor, looking very much worried and all strung out. She rattles off, "Doctor, take a look at me. When I woke up this morning, I looked at myself in the mirror and saw my hair all wiry and frazzled up. "My skin was all wrinkled and pasty, my eyes were blood-shot and bugging out, and I had this corpse-like look on my face! What's wrong with me, Doctor?" The doctor looks her over for a couple of minutes, then calmly says, "Well, I can tell you that there ain't nothing wrong with your eyesight." Comment on this Story | Printer Friendly | | Send Story to a Friend | Top Recent Stories    Deputy Gomer    The Mystic    Wrong Pants    New Twins    Deputy Gomer   More From ArcaMax Publishing Newsletters: Comics - Knowledge - Lifestyles - News - More Classic Books: Fiction - Non Fiction - Short Stories - Sci Fi - More More: Quizzes - Sudoku - Crossword - Weather - Sports - Columns En Español: Ultimas Noticias - Tiras Comicas - Deportes - Sudoku Ad Free Newsletter ArcaMax publications are now available in an "advertising-free" format. Please click here for details.